A Flightless Bird
by nightshade belle
Summary: His paradise was only for her, his love was only for her, but sometimes that is not enough, and more is needed to stay alive


**AN: **Okay it is not the update to "Swan Hime" but sometimes my writing brain needs something fresh to work on, and when the creative spirit calls I have to answer, because I am a willing slave lol.

This is an idea that I, unfortunately admit because I really dislike her, got from Rihanna, blah :P. I hope this does not stop anyone from reading it, if so I reassure you it will not have her affect on it. It was inspired by her "Only girl in the World" song which I thought was a cool idea so for that I thank her.

This is a Kaoru and Kenshin fic. Even though I did not use their names at all, it is quite obvious it is them and I think that no matter what form these characters take the love between them is the most important thing. I hope you enjoy it and I definitely want to hear from you, so R&R

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of it's amazing characters.

**A Flightless Bird**

As on every new morning she was awakened by the warmth of the sunrise on her skin. She smiled because its gentle touch reminded her of the light tender kisses of her lover. Without opening her eyes, she sat up from her bed of swan feathers and lambs wool and stretched her already bronzed arms towards the rays pouring down on her. She then shook her long hair and let the night's dew loosen from her ebony strands and rain all around her.

It was only when she yawned and stretched once more did she open her eyes, her heart already fluttering in her chest with anticipation. The first few days had been astounding and she could not wait to see what was laid out before her today.

Her cerulean eyes widened at the incredible sight before her, and her lips rounded in a soundless 'Oh'.

She knew she had mentioned to him the flowers she liked best, but this was staggering.

Red flowers expanded from her nest in every direction and kept on going as far as the horizon. Nothing else lay in their path; the forests the mountains, the lakes were all gone, as if totally consumed by this crimson sea.

Seeing the world she had gone to sleep in changed on awakening caused a trickle of sadness and regret to creep into her heart, but the sweet fragrance of the flowers suddenly rose and filled her senses with an intoxication that shoved all feelings other than elation aside. And with a gentle but encouraging push by the wind she was running, a cry from her exploding heart parting her lips.

Her skin and dress were powdered a shimmering blue that day and she was a blur of yards of floating silk and glistening shine as she raced across her flowered terrain. The earth was soft and even beneath her delicate feet, no roots or weeds caught and tangled her slim ankles, only the brush of soft petals licked at her toes urging her forward.

Faster and faster she went, her goal always the same, to reach the end of the paradise, though she knew he would never let it end. Still she kept running, enjoying how her muscles flexed and released in perfect rhythm, and the sweetness of the perfumed air that filled her lungs.

She was one with the wind. She was the wind. She was every breeze, every gust and cyclone.

Her bounds were carried by the currents, taking her high and then allowing her to touch the earth miles from her departure. Her giggles came out one after the other; they overflowed out of her with no pause between as she never ran out of breath, so soon her laughter was one constant sound, trying to fill the never ending space of sky and land, echoing to the heavens for the one who was listening.

She loved to run, and he loved to watch her. He said the very sight made him luster.

**KK**

Another morning.

One of many.

She had lost track of them all.

She had been awakened by the warm touch of frothy seawater washing over her feet. Her bed had been of soft sea moss and other aquatic plants of several shades of green, and was surrounded by a halo of colourful coral that rose above her in a shelter that protected her eyes when she opened them to the sun's brightness.

Her first instinct had been to shed her garment of golden netting and aquamarine coral beads, and immerse herself into the clear blue waters of the sea. And that was how she had spent her day; breaking through the waves or sometimes letting them carry her as she collected treasures in the depths.

She allowed herself to absorb and become a single being with the ocean that, like her, was only a small part of the world he made.

She swam with animals of all sizes and shapes that welcomed her like she was a sister, and something in her heart recalled having companions a long time ago; not these smooth swollen creatures, though their gliding movements in the water alongside her seemed to have a grace that tickled her memory.

When her feet finally once more touched the land, he was waiting on the shores. Her sea soaked hair was long enough to cover her modestly, but her cheeks still flushed under his intensely adoring gaze.

She went to him and he folded her in his arms and held her close. She closed her eyes and savoured his nearness. His scent swooned her mind, his words made her tremble, his fingers heated her blood, his taste made her crave, and without having to ask he carried her to her bed and satisfied her yearnings.

He stayed with her, his body wrapped around hers, and she pressed into his warmth desperately because she knew he could not stay there much longer in his human form.

When he finally did tear himself from her arms he dimmed the sky, and to soften the wound and ease the bitterness caused by his departure, he made the sky bloom for her with vibrant exploding lights.

They dazzled her and took her breath away, and by the time she regained her senses he was gone.

The night flowers were wonderful, but still she sighed. There was no one to share it with and for the first time her heart ached.

**KK**

Each day was filled with so many things.

Everything she wanted came into being at a simple thought; pleasures and desires were poured into her until she was overflowing. Her body would strain at the onslaught and her mind would soar at such heights that sometimes she trembled, but then it would all drain out of her, like shimmering drops of water through her fingers.

She would be left feeling empty, impatient and desiring more.

Her eyes that were once azure gems were now murky with bloated ugly greed.

**KK**

She was growing tired, not physically of course, but mentally, and the thrill had disappeared in only one exuberant jump of her heart. It tended to do that a lot faster lately.

He said he could make it better, but more and more she would spend a lot of time staring at the sky, wanting for something she did not know.

**KK**

Another day.

Morning, afternoon, evening, night.

It seemed to be a combination of them all.

But in truth, it did not matter anymore.

She was running across the sky because he had wanted her closer to him that day.

Her feet skirted across the fluffy white clouds while an enormous herd of horses charged alongside her. The magnificent beasts were often part of her daily fantasies. She had once said she loved them, so like the red flowers, he replayed them often.

Each one was more beautiful than the next, and at one time, the sight of them, their graceful movements alone, would bring happy tears to her eyes, but now they almost seemed nonexistent, a part of the scenery, tiresome.

As soon as the thought came, the equines scattered away from her and melted into the clouds, leaving her alone in the heavenly terrain. She barely noticed their absence.

Soon she was bored with running. It still was not quite what she wanted. So she did several cartwheels and flips, but always her feet would come back down to touch the clouds.

Her efforts were futile and so her mind ventured to a thought that in a heartbeat, turned to an intense wonder, and without bothering with consequence, she made the clouds in front of her open up, revealing the land miles below. She ended her last cartwheel in an enormous leap, diving toward the gap, and soon she was rushing downward, the air whistling in her ears and her hair and dress flapping behind her.

She was absolutely enchanted by how the earth grew larger as it raced towards her, and she shrieked her delight. She wanted to close her eyes to savour the feeling, but she kept them open, strangely unafraid of the quickly approaching land below.

Something was supposed to happen.

She spread her arms wide…

Something.

She felt her descent begin to slow…

Something….Magnificent!

Her body was pushed upward and she imagined herself freewheeling to heights beyond this world's sphere, but then she soon came to realize the set reality, and a slight crease marred her smooth forehead when the air currents held her hovering a good way above the rocky mountain peaks and then gently set her down in a bed of the red flowers she had once loved.

Her eyes turned stormy grey, her tiny frown turned furious and frustration twisted her pretty face. Her teeth clenched to hold in her scream.

He always caught her.

She felt confusion and irritation from him, but she ignored it and began savagely tearing up the flowers by their roots, cutting them off from life and squeezing the red juice out of them with her fists.

The overwhelming feeling was fleeting, like everything else, and was soon curled up inside her once more, and she sighed, feeling bored again.

The breakfast she loved was suddenly to her left and the smell of it brought her spirits up slightly.

Hunger, existed here, because like he said, it was needed to fully appreciate the food. She saw the logic in his words, but she wondered if the same theory did not apply to other feelings.

Pain and fatigue were a few of the things that belonged to the outside. They were not part of his world so she did not know them. When he brought night, her eyes closed, and she was sleeping, and she had heard enough about pain to know she should not want it…At least that's what he told her.

Still…she was curious.

When she finished her breakfast she licked the honey from her fingers and looked around for the next thing to abate the boredom that was quickly settling in.

Her mind went back to her fall. What would have it been like if….

Red flowers suddenly began raining so heavily from the sky she soon had to focus her thoughts on preventing herself from being buried alive.

**KK**

He was begging her to tell him what was wrong, what he could do to stop the tears flowing from her darkened blue eyes, but she could not say because she was not sure why they fell.

She could feel something was wrong inside of her, something was broken.

Desperately he took her in his arms, coated every inch of her skin with the touch of his hands and lips, while tender words trembled from his tongue to her delicate ears. She clutched him, her fingernails digging into his chest till they left scratches that quickly healed back to the perfect skin of before.

It used to be his presence alone would be all she desired, but for a long time now she had been feeling something ominously growing inside her, it was settled deep, incurable, dark, and it was out of his reach.

It was horrible and she could never bear it long before she was struck down. It had started as a dull feeling, barely noticeable, it had almost felt hollow like an empty hole, but as time wore on and the days flowed into one another, it seemed to fill with lead, growing heavier and spreading through her like an infection.

"What is it my Sparrow?" His voice was thick with emotion. "Please…" He clutched her tightly to him as if he was afraid she would pull away. "I feel you are in agony."

Agony? Was that what this was?

The tears kept coming, and she burrowed her head into him, all the while knowing that he was not enough anymore.

**KK**

He made the world flicker around her. Eager to find something that would please her; soothe the turmoil roiling in her depths.

For days, or maybe eons, it had been going from one scene to the next.

Golden sunrises, darkening sunsets, crystal lakes, snowy mountain peaks, cascading waterfalls, exotic rainforests, painted deserts, sometimes all melding together in a combination that was chaotic and nonsensical as if created by an infant.

Her eyes were blind to it all. She saw no beauty, no sigh of wonder lightened the weight in her chest, she felt no heart warmth or lifting excitement. All she experienced was a gilded cage that was pressing into her sides, pinning her arms and slowly crushing the life out of her.

Her hands gripped the ropes of the swing she sat on. They were woven with a soft material so her hands would not burn, but she would have welcomed any other pain than the one that currently ate at her from the inside.

The disease in her was spreading quickly. It had already devoured most of her spirit light and filled her with shadow. She could feel her body wasting away, dying around her, soon to disintegrate into nothing.

But the darkness was alive; continuously growing and salivating for freedom. It would remain after her. Maybe it would poison this world as it had poisoned her. It surprised her that the thought made a pleased smile that spread her pale lips and revealed her bared teeth.

An ember of hope ignited in him when he sensed her mood change. He was relieved, so once more he pushed her and the swing took her upwards, parallel to the sky. She let go of the rope to stretch her hand to a cloud, but just when she almost had it in her grasp, the swing brought her back down to earth, and the heavens pulled away from her.

The wrongness in her snarled and she echoed the noise through her teeth.

Dreading his touch again she leapt off the swing before she fell all the way to him and walked away.

The flowers were back again. Always returning. She made sure to crush each one that rose up in her path.

The thing inside her had long ago evolved and melded with her soul. She knew its name; he could not hide it from her anymore. So now she was Hate. She was Fury. She was Misery.

He did not follow her; he felt she did not want him to, so he disappeared, but before he left, she felt him relinquish his power to her. He laid it over her softly like a blessing.

"Please be happy."

She was stunned, but her surprise did not last long before the shadow hands fiercely struck out of her and snatched the new power with raking talons. Her eyes darkened to inky pools and another cruel smile hardened the delicate features of her face.

It had been a long time since she felt this exhilarated.

He wanted her to have this world. He wanted it to be hers alone with no one else for an eternity. Then so be it. She was going to be happy. She was going to take this miserable place in her hands and crush it.

**KK**

She wanted shadow clouds to block what was left of the Sun.

She wanted rain to drown and wash away the land.

She wanted thunder to roar over the singing birds.

She wanted forked lightning to stab the trees and burn the earth.

He had given her too much control. Now it was all happening too fast for him and her rage was growing monstrous.

She was the wind again, only now she wielded it like a Wrath.

She spun around her, typhoons, hurricanes and tornadoes that yanked at the wild strands of her hair and tore her ebony dress asunder. The force of it threatened to knock her off her feet, dash her against the rocks leaving her broken, but she stood firm in the eye of her destruction.

With her tears the rain pelted from the sky, overflowing the rivers and flooding every space with churning water. The sea rose in perfectly curled waves that slammed into the shores, shattering them to pieces.

She was violent but graceful.

With her hands the earth lurched. It cracked and shook as she forced it apart, twisting it between her fingers like a lump of deformed clay.

Destructive but artistic.

And with her screams the blaze spread across the grass fields. Its flames close at the heels of the shrieking horses who were uselessly trying to escape. The fire consumed everything in its path, even those detestable red flowers which were now black ash. Their red was nothing compared to the beautiful crimson that was painted everywhere now.

Terrible but beautiful.

She felt him fighting to regain control, but the world around her was already too deeply rooted in her blackened soul, and was now feeding off the taint that had become all she was.

She would not let him in, so he was shouting at her from a distance, begging her to stop, even threatening, but she would not hear him; she _could_ not hear him; all she wanted to hear was the delicious sound of this world being ripped apart.

He fought harder, but she drove him back, taking even more of his power from him.

"You are no longer the center!" she snarled using the wind, fire, water, earth to amplify her words and drive away his light. "This world is mine…and I choose to destroy it." She felt his hold weaken, and she laughed in triumph. "I _will _be free."

She could feel the world's barriers collapsing and for a moment she thought she could see another sky, taste a foreign breeze. She was so close to the outside.

But then, just when he was at the edge of defeat, he used her darkness and the last trickle of power he still kept from her.

He made the velvet night fall and instantly her destruction stopped.

Her eyes closed and sleep dragged her under.

**KK**

It was not the sun that woke her this time but his anguish.

He sat beside her, not making a sound, but she heard his turmoil as if he was screaming.

She opened her eyes, their depths still dark blue with infection but were now stagnant with exhaustion.

The world around them was still torn apart, but the storms were gone; the sky was clear and the sun shone fully into all the destruction.

It was a strange contrast she thought; tranquil sky and chaotic earth; order and destruction. In this world both had never existed together; he would never let them, but she had unleashed darkness and now it would never be the same again.

The world seemed to ache and echo his sadness. He would never be the same again.

"I can fix it." His voice was tinged with panic even though his handsome face was frozen in a placid mask. Eyes focused on her, and she shivered when she saw the mad sparks that danced in his irises. "All will be the way it was."

The earth shifted under her hands as it began to right itself. Her fissures closed, her waves flattened to quiet ocean, her fires extinguished, and the scorched earth was being blanketed in green.

She closed her eyes tightly because she knew what would come next.

"No," she whispered brokenly over and over again. She could hear the insufferable beat of those wretched beasts' hooves pounding across the new plains, and even though she could not see them, she knew those horrendous flowers would be growing all around her, staring at her with their evil red eyes.

"See my Sparrow?" Hysteria laced his words. "Now you will be happy."

Still muttering her despondent mantra, she crawled away from him, her tears soaking into the renewed soil. She stumbled and fell but she kept going, refusing to open her eyes for fear of seeing what was around her.

The pollution that was now her core was festering and stealing her strength. She was tired and weak, and she knew if she did not escape this world, it would soon be too late for her. What lay outside she did not know, but it called to her urgently.

She tried to go towards it, even though she knew crawling would not get her there. She needed to be above the ground, higher than everything, but she continued her slow progression, trying to ignore the feeling of the rough flowers between her fingers, until finally, her body grew too heavy and once more she fell, this time knowing she would not get up again.

Though she had used all her strength, she had not gotten far and instantly he was at her side, cradling her in his arms. She could only sigh and wilt into him.

She was shocked when she realized his skin was still warm with his inner glow, and she recalled what it was like to be consumed by his heat and shine. She found it made her happy to know he was not entirely changed.

Her feelings though were now only a ghost of her old affection for him, and he would never be her Sun again.

That was one thing she wished was once the way it was, but to get that again she would have to go back to a time when she was naïve and knew nothing more than what he allowed her to know.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him. Even in sadness he was beautiful; his amber eyes still shone like gold, his face though tragic did not seem any less finely sculpted, and his hair was stunning as it cascaded over her and softly brushed her face.

With a frail hand she let her fingers comb through the silken strands. They were so scarlet and seemed to absorb every ray that touched it. She never told him his hair was why she had loved those red flowers so much, even when she detested them, she still admired his hair.

Her touch went to his radiating face and lifted her eyes to his so they could really see each other.

Like her, he was wounded deeply and part of her wished she could have lived up to his expectations and still be his one and only precious treasure, but she was not meant to be caged. She needed to be free.

His gaze held hers, searching her eyes frantically, and soon, he began to understand.

She saw when he really saw the colour of her eyes and then when he probed deeper in her being he gasped when he met with the infection. His eyes immediately closed as if the atrocity was too awful for his sight. He knew even his shine could not heal such obscurity.

"You will die if you stay here?" It was a question but he said it as a statement of certainty.

She only nodded because speaking seemed too difficult.

A tremor ran through him into her, and he pressed her into his chest as he always did when his desire for her to be part of him besieged him.

After a silent pause that held everything deeply still, the whole world held its breath as he began to speak reverently.

"You probably do not remember," he began. "But when I found you, you were dying as well. Your body was broken and scarred, and even though your feathers were drenched in your own blood they were still being auctioned to the highest bidder.

His words, like a spell, lifted the veil off of her mind and her mouth immediately fell open in a silent scream as memories slammed back into her mind.

_They had come with their floating metal ships while her flock was resting. She had been able to help the others escape because she was really their true target. She had fought, bringing down a few of their crafts, but their bombs blinded her, the smoke filled her lungs, and soon their electric nets dragged her from the sky. She had been pinned to the earth, her struggles feeble and unable to take her back to the sky. And they surrounded her with cold smiles and weapons that cut, ripped and brought searing pain…_

Her lungs clenched, and she gasped for air that was not coming.

The memories and the parasite were crushing her, but as she felt his lips touch her cold skin, the nightmares began melting away as if they had never come. Her trembling stilled as he fed into her his life's heat. She breathed in deeply and leaned into him, letting his affection soothe away some of her anxiety.

"I could not bear to see you that way," he continued. "So I healed you, till you were perfect once more, and I brought you here where you would be preserved like you deserved to be. In a paradise where I could fulfill your every desire, where no one could hurt you ever again and you would have no worry. You would be happy and I could love and worship you. But I suppose it was not enough."

His expression was bitter but then it suddenly lighted with childish hope. "I can make it better," he exclaimed, his eyes eager as he searched her face for her answer. But even as he said it he saw the truth in her fading eyes, in the pale and transparent skin that revealed fragile bones, and the hope was snuffed out.

He buried his face in her now brittle hair. "I need to let you go," he finally whispered. This time the world trembled with his heart.

Closing her eyes she nodded again; a mere shift of her heavy head.

Despite his words he held on to her tighter, so with great effort she said, "Please…"And she needed to say no more because he could deny her no longer.

Still holding her, they faded from his world.

**KK**

When she opened her eyes again she saw they were floating at the border of his sky. A barrier was above them shimmering and reflecting the entire expanse of blueness and clouds, and when she looked up she saw their images lying upside down over them.

A grieving Sun and a fallen bird.

With a sigh that made the whole world heave he kissed her one last time, raised her up towards the barrier and released her. She rose from where he stood and her feet touched the barrier only for a second until they began to sink upward into the mirror material that rippled outward for miles as she merged with her reflection.

The shadow in her writhed in anger as soon as she had touched the barrier, and when she was through to only her waist, it shot out of her with an unholy roar and spread across the world she was leaving in several directions, disappearing in the distances.

It would forever remain there, feeding off the purity of his world, but his eyes did not fill with hate or accusation, they just remained on her, filled to their depths with the same undeniable adoration they always had for her.

She laughed. Her soul was once more hers. Fire and wind. Perfect for soaring free.

Only her head and shoulders remained and she reached her arm out to him. "Come with me," she called, her voice echoing with the joy he loved to hear.

He smiled back at her wistfully and shook his head. "I cannot leave here," he said with words made of heavy stone. "This is my cage, my prison. I am sorry I locked you in here with me." His eyes burned with loneliness. "I just wanted someone, but I see now Spar-…Love…I have caused you more harm than the outside could ever have done."

The barrier was up to her chin and soon it was pulling over her cheeks and was at the edge of her eyes. The last thing she saw was the image of the Sun standing alone in the vast sky over his empty paradise. He made a low bow to her and disappeared from her sight.

Her hand was the last to go through. Its fingers still reaching, for him till the end.

**KK**

She burst through like a strike.

Her feathers exploded from her body. Her wings beat the air fiercely as she dived through the sky that was hers and rode the currents that were now part of her rejuvenated soul.

She was Red, Strong and Magnificent.

She shrieked, and it resonated across her sky, soon to be answered by similar sharp cries from all around.

Her friends, her flock, her family.

They had never strayed far from her. They had continued to wait on the outside of the barrier, knowing she would rise again. And now that she had returned she could feel their fiery hearts blistering with elation.

They waited for her to take the lead, then, as if she had never left, they soared and glided at her side, their wind and flame joining hers, becoming one living entity like a blazing sun.

She was back where she belonged. Free and flying. But she would always remember him.

The Sun who had loved and tried to keep a Phoenix.

**The End**

**So I hope you liked it! If not, that's ok but I wanna know why so still review. I want you to know I am working on the next chapter of Swan Hime, but I will be honest and say it is not even half way done because I am having some trouble. Never fear though I will get it done, I promise. So until next time, bye lovelies =3**


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